Yet Another Little Awesome Thing

I realized that I haven't posted very much this month, so I'm trying to step it up.
Since I do a lot with email (with my half-job and hobbies), I occasionally get spam.
It also helps that I have five or more email addresses.

Every once in awhile, for fun, I send replies to some spam messages, usually with things like "Stop Spamming me," but I like to slip in a few "fake bites," or messages that say I'm interested in whatever the Prince of Nigeria is currently selling.

Which leads me to the L.A.T.

I love it when people actually respond to my fake responses.

This has only happened to me twice, with one exchange being way more awesome than the other. The lame one was with a guy who obviously had a lot of spam exchanges going on, so we never really got into a rhythm.

The other one, however, was exactly like something you'd see from 419eater.com. A lady emailed my old Kansan email address (something I haven't used since 2007), and I sent her a response, and the exchange below started. The stuff in blue are my emails.

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Dear One In Love

I am Mrs Kate Parker a nationality of Sierra Leone .I am married to Mr.Buron Parkerwho worked with Sierra Leone Embassy in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in the year 2005. We were married for eleven years without a child.He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.Before his death we were both born again Christian.Since his death I decided not to remarry as we were married for eleven years without a child, When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $27.5 Million with a Bank in Ivory Coast.Presently this money is still in the custody of the Bank in Ivory Coast.Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next Eight months due to cancer and hypertensive problem. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a church organization or good person that will utilize this money the way that will give glory to God.
I want a church,organization or good person that will use this money for orphanages widows and other peoples that needs help and also propagating the word of God and to endeavor that the house of God is maintained.

The Bible made us to understand that"Blessed is the hand that giveth".l took this decision after my seven days of praying and fasting because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians not even good at all because they are the one that is responsible for the death of my husband in other to have all my late husband prperties and I don't want my husband's efforts to be used by those that conspired for his death. This is why I am taking this decision, I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going I know that Iam going to be in the bosom of the Lord Exodus 14 VS 14 says that "the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace".l know With God all things are possible.As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Bank in Ivory Coast. I will also issue a letter of authorization to the bank that will prove you the present beneficiary of this money. I also want you, church or the organization to always pray for me because the lord is my only shephard.My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that Wants to serve the Lord must serve him in Truth and in spirit.Please always be prayerful all through your life.Contact me on this email address and i want you to promise me that you will use the money as I Stated here in. Hoping to receive your respense immedaitely.

Thanks and Remain blessed
in the Lord Jesus.
l remain yours sister in Christ.
Mrs Kate Buron

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I would be very interested. I love to help out fellow humans, so please send me your contact info soon.
-Jerry

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Dear Sommerville Caleb,

Frist i thank you for your interesting which you have in assisting and helping me for this transaction, so how are you doing my dear together with your family with hope you all are fine over there in your home, if so thanks be to God.

Well my dear Caleb, i am going to send to you every information's which you needed also the documents which the bank issued to my late husband the day he deposited the fund in they custody, but before i will be sending to you all those information's i will like you to tell me more about yourself, please do not misunderstand me why because we need to know each other very well before we proceed on how the fund will be transfer into your account i hope you understand, but if they is anything you do not understand please you do let me know so that i will explain them fine to you ok, as i will be waiting for your response.

Thanks and Remain blessed
in the Lord Jesus.
l remain yours sister
in Christ.
Mrs Kate Buron

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Actually, my name is Ronald. The server screwed up my name.
Before going any further, I will need some photographic proof of yourself. Please let me know if this is possible.
-Ronald

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Dear Ronald,

Thanks for your mail which is well noted date 28/05/2009 and time 17:42:55, well i have heared what you said concerning proof yes i am sending you my picture now, so have a look of my picture then you get back to me with your house or office address also your telphone number, so that i will go and submit them in the bank and declare you as my late husband foreign business partner, i hope you understand, as i will be urgently waiting for your response.

Thanks once again

With regards

Mrs.Kate Parker.

[Picture Redacted]

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Once again, my name is Ronald.
I looked up your husband's information through the contacts I have in the Sierra Leone embassy, and they had never heard of the man. Perhaps he went by a different name?
-Ronald.

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Dear Ronald,

Thanks for your mail which is well noted date 30/05/2009 time 21:08:51, well it is good as you look up to the information you have, but i have told you about myself and my husband as i know that is working there, but that is not what i am telking what am saying is how you can assist me geting this fund transfered out of Africa, meanwhile you did not even tell me that you have receive my picture which i send to you, well let's proceed on how to made the transfer of the fund into your account frist ok, and what you have to do is that you should forward me your full information's so that i will go and submit them to the bank and then declare you as my foreign business partner, after that i will send to you the document's regarding the fund which the bank issued to my late husband the day he deposited the fund in they custody, i will also forward the information of the bank so that you contact the bank for the transfer of the fund into your account i hope you understand, as i will be waiting as soonest.

Thanks once again for your understanding while we proceed.

With regard's

Mrs. Kate Parker.

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You don't seem to understand. Your husband doesn't exist. I work for the FBI and he doesn't even have a record here.
You however, do. When would be a good time for you to fly to Washington D.C. and talk about this?
-Ronald

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Dear Sommerville,

Thanks for your mail which is well noted, well i am very happy that you are working with FBI it means that if the fund transfered into your account then it will be safe, again for to fly to Washington D.C. to talk about this issue i will like to come over there, so that i will have a good treatment for my health in the state and it's better for me, but depend on you when ever you want me to fly over there and i will be very gald if you help me to fly to Washington D.C, so give me more detils for my coming, as i will be waiting.

Thanks once again

With regard's

Mrs. Kate Parker.

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You would be flying yourself over, of course. And I mean, by saying I work for the FBI, that you are in a lot of trouble.

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Dear Sommerville,

Thanks for your mail, meanwhile i want you to know that i am not afraid of the FBI , because once i know that what am saying is the truth i will never fear any body do understand, and i have seen that you are not interesting so no need of you teling me about FBI ok.

Thanks

With regard's

Mrs. Kate Parker

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You don't seem to understand. Making up information about someone working for an embassy is a huge crime, and you are going to be arrested soon. Please enclose your GPS (longitude and latitude) coordinates in your next email so that we may find you easier.
And my name is still Ronald.
-Ronald.

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Ah, what fun. Note that her name (and mine) changes several time throughout the exchange, and that she only stops after I make ridiculous threats and claims.

This took about two weeks before it petered out, but boy was it fun. I would come back from class and check my email, hoping and praying for more ridiculousness from Kate Parker/Bueno/Whatever the heck her name was.

Don't believe everything you read on the internet.